Wednesday, August 26, 2009

4 For Whatever It's Worth - Cont'd - Part IV

Note: It occurs to me to start each related post by saying that before all this started, I was reasonably active and clearly never knew the meaning of the words "can't" or "don't". 

I Miss My Old Life - A LOT

I really really miss my old life.  It wasn't bad.  After years of hard work, I had another good job, running an office at a major company.  The apartment wasn't bad either, overlooking a golf course, even had a fireplace.  Never worried about paying bills, that was always done on time if not early.  Never worried about being able to maintain the car, was in fact even saving for a brand new one.  Decent bed to sleep in.  Real food to eat.  Cared for my pets.  Even went out from time to time.  A real life, and still I could manage to put a couple of dollars in the bank too.

But I didn't have a medical degree.  No training to know any better when the doctors gave bad advice.  No warnings about the true side effects of over-medicating, even seemingly harmless antibiotics or ibuprofen.  No true warnings about the side effects of the damaging sedative.  No knowledge how harmful the combination's of medicines and bed-rest I was being given actually were.  No idea I should have been doing the opposite of what the doctors told me to do.

I thought doctor's were supposed to heal people, not make them worse.  But nobody is watching them too closely.  Unqualified docs are treating people they shouldn't, or they just don't care about making anybody better - just making money.

Without medical training, I trusted the doctor's to make me better, so I listened to them.  The medicine's were supposed to help me.  They made me worse.  The constant bed rest was supposed to help me, but they kept telling me No activity at all whatsoever.  It made things worse too.  Then they stopped listening because someone my age shouldn't have so many problems, so the pain must all be in my head.  Several doctors actually said that to me, in spite of the fact that a recent MRI verified it was not - and I still can't get the right doc to help me.

It's really hopeless. Only in my 30's and so much pain every single day for 9 years now.  I've met people in their 90's in better health than me, and yes, they have said they usually avoid the doctors, laughingly say they don't listen to the docs half the time, they eat right and get some activity.  I used to do that, and now all this mess started with just one injury and believing the docs were there to help and to heal.  What an idiot I must be for believing that.

Take care of yourselves.  It only takes one time, one injury not to be cared for properly to start the nightmare and ruin you for life.  Please, don't end up a waste of space anymore like me.

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